This question comes from Carol. ‘I hope this does not come across as a grumble because my husband is a wonderful man. He embraced my natural hair and is the only one who supported me when I chose to start locks. We have three daughters and he is very good at praising their hair and telling them they are beautiful. His only problem is that he completely refuses to do any form of styling or handling of their hair. The girls wear twists most of the time and even when it is something simple like tying a hair band which has fallen off, he sends them to me. I feel like the girls get the message from him that hair care is complicated but he will not budge, he just says it is just not his thing. Am I expecting too much?’
Comment from the The Natural Haven:
“I think when you have no help it can be hard but I do think that people have to do what they are comfortable with. My father never took care of my hair at all but I love my natural hair. Similar to your husband, he did do his role in telling us we were beautiful just as we were and I see how important that was now.
My husband really does not care for hair care either. He will help me with creating parts at the back of my head because it is hard to see but that is pretty much it. He also once helped me curl a bride’s hair/weave (her hairdresser failed to turn up, so guests to the rescue!), and he was good at it but I know that it was not his favourite thing to do.
I think as your girls grow the take home message should be that they should care for their own hair. Pass your skills to them so they can be self sufficient as they get to 9-10 years old. He sounds like a pretty nice husband to me.”
My father barely touched my hair also but he did take charge on running the clippers through my two brothers hair making sure their hair were tight and well groomed. As far as girls hair there are details that most men do not want to get involved with such as parting the hair, combing, styling and the fear of being heavy handed on tender little heads. My husband will attempt to style our three girls hair only if he really have to. Best of all, he is an awesome barber when it comes down to our boys!
BTW I am a wife and mother of 6 children.
What is your story?
Source: The Natural Haven