Do black men ignore dark-skinned black women? - Curly Chic

Do black men ignore dark-skinned black women?

I had a lively discussion recently on black women and our intimate affair with hair, which eventually led to men and their preferences. Weave or no weave? Short or long? Color and natural versus the “processed” hair woman? Those are the questions.

This conversation led to another issue correlated with hair textures: Skin color and the many shades of dark, pale, brown, white, caramel, coffee, cream and anything in between.

One brother said he preferred the natural woman, a “sista” whose hair he could “run his fingers through” and not feel tracks.

For those who you who do not know, “tracks” are how weaves are put in. Just to debunk one hair myth, weaves are not just a black woman thing. Whites, Hispanics, and in fact all ethnicities wear hair extensions as part of today’s fashion trend.

It is just perceived that these other women all have long, luxurious hair naturally grown, whereas black women have to buy all of their own.

But back to the brotha who said he loved the natural sista. Do black men truly love a “natural sista” as they claim, or are many of them hypocritical about what constitutes natural in their eyes?

For the same man who said he liked natural does not date dark-skinned black women. He chalks it up to simply a “preference” but is it just a matter of preference or is there more to black men like him omitting dark-skinned woman from their dating pool?

I have noticed what I like to call the “Kimdarshian effect”– where most celebrities and mere male mortals date or marry only very light-skinned black women or women of ambiguous ethnicity.

Then there are those who go straight for what the rest are comparing us all to—white women.

I have tried my best to come up with some high profile men with dark sistas they loved enough to “put a ring on it” and I could only think of President Barack Obama and actorDenzel Washington. comedian JB Smoove of “The Real Husbands of Hollywood” also has a gorgeous dark beauty as his wife, the multi-talented artists/writer/musician Shahidah Omar.

On the other hand, star and creator of that same show, funny man Kevin Hart, is legendary for cracking derogatory jokes at dark-skinned women. The newly divorced comedian is now dating one of those “ethnically ambiguous” women of the lighter variety.

Most Hip-Hop and R&B/Rap videos also feature light-skinned beauties 99 percent of the time yet love to sing that they “keep it real.”

Don’t get me wrong, people can love who they love but like the gentleman who said he preferred “natural” hair on his woman but in the same breath profess a “preference” for light-skinned women with long hair, there is something askew in that logic.

Riding shotgun alongside the hair drama is the shades of color phenomenon. Just as soft, long hair is associated with beauty, dark skin is not. In fact skin bleaching is a booming global business, for lighter is considered better.

It is no secret that there is a long-standing, rarely spoke of cultural crisis of color within the black community. How we got here is down a painfully long, winding road of, criticism, marginalization, objectification, psychological and physical bondage stretching more than three centuries from the bowels of Africa to the shores of North South and Central America and the Caribbean.

And the deep lingering issue of “cast” remains. Light skin is still seen as more beautiful because it is closer to the established white European standard of beauty that has long been the barometer we are measured by.

But I say it is time to break the mental shackles and see ourselves in all our shades of splendor—dark, light, brown, latte, coffee, cocoa, caramel, cinnamon, tawny, ebony, berry or blue black—they are all connected with one origin and one destination.

Let’s stop devaluing each other based on age-old destructive stereotypes and instead appreciate our “rainbow” diversity.


So the question is “Do black mean ignore dark skinned women”? What do you think?

  • SMH says:

    The media and sell out black celebrities are pushing their own bs agenda. I'm just gonna lay this out in the open, if black men really ignore dark skinned black women, then why is it the vast majority of black people (even outside Africa) are dark skin, how would such a high percentage of them be born if black men avoid, don't sleep with or marry dark skin women.

    I see what the media is doing and I see what the white journalists and black sensationalists are doing, I see what the minority of sell out blacks who hate themselves are doing, mixed race children are a tiny minority of the population even in the UK where they are the fastest growing population. This article and many like it are complete and utter foolishness, I have met many black men who only sleep with black women, why don't they get attention?

  • Greg says:

    Great article, but what I want to comment on is it seems that here in New York even the Dark Skinned Black Women don't give a Brother the time of day. Don't blame the whole situation on Black Men, for instance I work in the Wall Street area and it hustle and bustle every day. I will see a good looking woman of any race and rarely does a Black Woman (light or dark) even gives a hint of acknowledgement. Surprisingly mostly White Women will give a nod, smile or vocal acknowledgement, what's up with that Sisters? I am a Black Man who doesn't care about Race or Ethnicity I just love BEAUTIFUL WOMEN.

  • Tara Johnson says:

    Yes the comments above is really describing the black men in my home town. I notice how black men treat black women in my town and the way white women are treated by our black men. What did black women do to deserve this kind of treatment?


  • Ron says:

    People say Lupita is natural just because she has a short Afro, but she wears tons of makeup and fake eyelashes too. Is that natural?

  • Mick says:

    Nothing wrong with being light-skinned. There's always an erroneous implication that light-skinned black women aren't natural, when often they are very natural. Just because a woman wears her hair long, does not mean there are chemicals in her hair. All black women do not have to have their hair cut short like a man. Whatever someone's preference is, is there business. She probably treats him really good, and he likes that. She is beautiful too and looks like they have fun. Dark women are always complaining about something, when they have plenty of options with black men and white men, since most black women you see with white men are brown to dark.

  • craig says:

    "… the gentleman who said he preferred “natural” hair on his woman but in the same breath profess a “preference” for light-skinned women with long hair, there is something askew in that logic."

    what exactly is "askew" in that logic? the man prefers natural, long hair on a light-skinned woman. is that so hard to understand?
    also you say that most celebrities and "mere male mortals" date or marry only very light-skinned black women or women of ambiguous ethnicity, but you really mean most black celebrity males right. then there are those that go straight for white women. is this a problem for you? is it their fault that these women were born with light skin or that those men are attracted to them? light skin or not, they're women- men are gonna be attracted to them.

    • Birdy says:

      Wow….thanks Craig. Because my niece who is 16 just said, “This article could make a lighter skinned girl feel really bad for being born that way. But then waited to the END of the article to back peddle that we need to break the mental shackles” This separation is what has kept some of us divided & what will continue to keep the “mental shackles” clamped on lock. I know it’s going to take a lot to undo what has caused such a division. But are articles (like this)that make inferences that our light skinned sisters are not as Black helping? Hmmmm, sounds like the same old stuff in reverse. I wonder if Lynch knew he was going to have this strong of a hold on us.

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